


I wish

by Jettus01



Series: The Marauder's short stories [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Insecure Remus, M/M, Mentions of Sirius/others when it actually isn't, Misunderstandings, Remus and Lily are basically like siblings fight me, Wholesome and cute Wolfstar, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jettus01/pseuds/Jettus01
Summary: (Title is slightly inspired by a One Direction song, fight me)Remus wishes Sirius would be his, but he's pretty sure that Sirius doesn't like him the way that Remus likes Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: The Marauder's short stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586134
Kudos: 30





	I wish

Remus looks up from his book and he sees what he’s seen for the past three days. Sirius is flirting with some random girl. The more he saw it, the worse he felt and the lump in his throat got bigger.

“U-Uhm, Lils, I-I think I’m gonna g-go to bed.” He tells his study buddy and basically sister Lily Evans. She looks worriedly at him.  
“Are you okay, Rem?” She asks softly and worriedly.

“Y-yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He says as he closes his book. “I’m j-just tired, that’s a-all.”

“Okay, good night bro.” She says softly.

“Good night sis” He says before going up to the dorm.

As soon as he gets up, he changes into pjs and goes into bed before closing the curtains and he puts up silencing charms. He grabs a journal and a pen that he got from his mum, and he opens the journal at a blank page before he begins to write.

_Dear journal,_

_Third day of heartbreak._

_I don’t think I can handle seeing him flirt with more girls._

_I don’t think I can handle crushing on one of my best friends._

_Who clearly is straight and who likes beautiful girls, not scarfaced boys._

_But that doesn’t make it hurt any less, you know._

_I wish he’d look at me like he looks at them._

_I wish I was the person that made him that happy._

_But I know that will never happen._

_I know I’m not attractive. Not for him or for anyone._

_I’m meant to be alone._

_Because as bad as it may sound, if I can’t have him, then I don’t want anyone._

_He’s my light and my happiness, but he doesn’t know that._

_And all I know is that he doesn’t feel the same way, and he never will._

_But that’s okay. When he marries some girl in the future I’ll be happy for him. I’ll support him through everything._

_As they say… if you love someone set them free..._

_And if they love you back , they’ll come back for you… not that I think the last part will happen…_

Remus stops writing for a moment as he feels the tears stream down his cheeks and hit the journal. He dries his tears quickly and he signs it before hiding the journal and he lies down. And with that he cries himself to sleep.

Not long after Sirius comes up. After he’d seen Remus go upstairs he had ended the conversation quickly and he asked Lily what was up with him. She’d simply told him that Remus had said he was tired, but she wasn’t so sure if she believed it.

“Moony?” Sirius says as he walks into the dorm. He looks at Remus’ bed which has the curtains shut.

“Moonshine, is there som-” He says as he opens the curtains and he stops mid sentence when he looks at Remus. Asleep, but he can clearly see that he’s been crying. 

Sirius' heart broke when he saw the tears. “Oh Remus…” He says softly and he lies down beside him without thinking. He just wants to comfort him. 

Remus subconsciously cuddles into him as he’s dreaming about a universe where Sirius does like him back. And he flirts with him and only him.

Sirius smiles softly as he cuddles him.

“I love you Remus” He whispers.

“I love you too Sirius” Remus mutters back in his sleep and Sirius’ eyes widens. “W-what?” He whispers in shock.

Remus doesn’t respond, and Sirius just holds him closer. After some time of cuddling he feels like a book is kind of stabbing him in his back and he looks. There lies a book covered in leather with Remus written on the front. Without thinking Sirius opens it at the place the bookmark is. 

“Dear journal?” He reads quietly to himself, before he keeps reading and as he reads he realizes who’s caused those tears on Remus’ cheeks.  
He puts the book where he found it and he cuddles into Remus, but now he’s crying.

“R-Remus, I’m so sorry” He sobs quietly. “I love you, I love you, I love you and only you. You’re the most attractive person I know, I’m so sorry for not telling you before and for giving you so much heartbreak” He sobs into Remus’ chest. He hears a gasp and he looks up at Remus who looks at him with such loving eyes.

“W-what d-did you say?” Remus manages to choke out in shock.

Sirius takes a deep breath.

“I love you Remus Lupin. I love you and only you. You are the most attractive and handsome person I’ve ever met and I love you.” Sirius says, still with tears in his eyes.

“B-but the g-girls…” He says as he feels himself crying more.

Sirius dries Remus’ tears with his thumb and hugs him. “I-I wasn’t flirting with them. I-I wanted tips on how to tell you h-how much I-I love you. I guess I j-just forgot how that c-could look to you and I-I’m so sorry” He says softly. Remus hugs him tightly. “I-I forgive you” He say softly back. Sirius pulls away from the hug and he looks into Remus’ eyes just how Remus wanted him to look at him. And he knew that the only reason he looked at the girls like that was tbecause he was talking about **him** , not flirting.

“I love you Remus.” 

“I love you too Sirius, so much.” He responds before he pulls him into a kiss.


End file.
